No Matter What
by raelee
Summary: Slash; Tommy and Merton are stuck in a room and end facing their feelings for each other


1 No Matter What  
  
  
  
It was the end. Tommy swallowed back the urge to laugh at the irony – as the demon got ready to kill him – he had been anxious and terrified for weeks with the idea his life would end when Merton left for college. But here it was, the real end. A big brown demon with six purple eyes; the one demon that had more strength, speed, and size then the wolf. This was it, he was the leaving – forever. No coming back, not from the dead. He a had vague thought that maybe Merton would try to rise him from the dead but the demon was ready now and howled to let him know it chasing it away. It was time for him -- Tommy Dawkins to die. This was the end. An unfair end because it was an unfinished end – God Merton. How was Merton going to get away from this purple-eyed demon without him? The demon wasn't going to let him run away alive, Merton probably looked really tasty to creature. The sudden rush of fear for Merton's life brought on a rush of adrenaline.  
  
Just the as the huge eight feet tall demon was about to stab him with his claws, Tommy kicked up with both his feet. He hit the demon somewhere on its monstrous stomach making the demon grunt. Tommy cursed, it had only slowed the demon down, but wasn't about to stop it's goal of destroying him. He was not going to let this monster defeat him and take Merton as another trophy for his collection of human kills. Determination welled up inside Tommy and he rolled over just as the demon's hand came thumping down where his head at been. And Tommy saw just why it was this demon could indeed kill him, his nails were silver. "Silver nails," he yelled out as he kept forcing himself to roll across the floor of the warehouse basement until he was far enough away to move to his feet. He had to grab a wall to steady himself and he quickly looked around. Merton was no where in sight, where was he? Had the demon already killed him? A flash of Merton running toward the demon flashed in Tommy's mind. Merton had done it to distract the demon from taking a fatal blow at Tommy and it had worked… he had gone after Merton allowing Tommy to get a better defense against the monster. But what had happened to Merton, afterwards?  
  
"If you killed Merton." Tommy threatened the beast with a low hard angry growl as he channeled more strength from inside himself. He had to avoid the claws and maybe he could gain some strength back and take it out. He just hoped to God, no other part of this demon was made of silver as he decide to go at him no holds barred. Only his attack towards the demon was stopped short. There was a sudden flash of light, and thick smoky powder above Tommy and the demon. The smoky powder turned to real smoke as it hit the demon and caused him to start to melt. Tommy's eyes widened as he watched the demon turn into pieces that resembled thick rain drops but vaporized into nothing before they hit the ground. Every inch of the demon did this and it had to hurt Tommy thought; it's head, it's silver nails and then there was nothing before Tommy but an empty dust-filled basement.  
  
"It worked. I can't believe it worked. Thank the Maker that I noticed his nails were silver when I distracted him earlier." It was Merton and he was coming towards him from somewhere above him. Relief hit Tommy, the demon hadn't killed Merton, or hurt him. The relief caused the adrenaline to flush out of his system and Tommy fell to the ground his head falling into his paws. The demon's silver claws had really weakened his energy. He wasn't sure he could move but he didn't care, he knew Merton was safe.  
  
"Tommy, Tommy? Are you okay?" Tommy blinked open his eyes wondering how Merton gotten from being above him to being in front of so fast. He looked into Merton's blue eyes taking in the combination of fear and concern. "Tommy?"  
  
"You are alive."  
  
"Yes I am. So are you." Merton said, matter-of-factly leaning a bit closer to him.  
  
"I thought it was the end."  
  
"No." Merton shook his head, "It wasn't the end. We have a slight problem."  
  
"What?" Tommy asked straightening his spine while still sitting in the middle of floor, "Another demon?"  
  
"No. No more demons -- today anyway -- we are trapped in here."  
  
"Trapped?" Tommy asked, as he finally saw Merton was holding out his hand for him to take. Taking the Merton's hand and feeling the coolness of it against his heat, Tommy felt nothing but relief that Merton was safe. Merton pulled him up and Tommy found himself having to lean into his friend to keep his balance much more than usual. Reminding him of all the reasons he had fought to stay alive earlier when he had thought he had no more fight left in him. All of it brought up an anger based in terror that he couldn't hold back and he let out at Merton in a hard voice.  
  
"Who the hell cares if we are trapped in this basement? I thought that purple eyed creep had killed you, Merton. What were you thinking running at him like that? You are supposed to stay out the way so you won't get hurt. That's why you hide: behind me, Lori or whatever the hell else is around."  
  
Tommy was holding Merton's shoulders as he spoke staring into his friends eyes and hearing nothing but the beating of his heart and seeing nothing but the possibility Merton could have been dead. The fear and the protective rage caused him to not really notice how taken aback Merton was by his outburst and the anger that suddenly flashed in Merton's eyes.  
  
"Tommy, I think you are missing the point. If I hadn't run at him, he would have put one of his silver nails through your heart. Oh and one of his nails wouldn't have broken off in my back pack and I wouldn't have figured out what type of demon he was and HOW TO KILL HIM."  
  
"No you are missing the point. You could have died."  
  
"No. Tommy, you are missing the point. Read my lips. You WOULD be DEAD."  
  
Tommy felt a rush of anger, not at Merton but that Merton didn't get that his life was more important to him than his own. Growling somewhat as he spoke, Tommy continued to lecture him. "Merton, don't do anything like that again. And no more going after anyone without Lori. I don't care if she's mad at us for some unexplainable reason. We grovel so her and her kickboxing skills are with us."  
  
"Um, Tommy. Even Lori – tough as she may be – would've been mincemeat against that demon. You could barely handle him."  
  
"He kept scratching me. Man, no wonder it burned," Tommy looked at a still healing wound from the silver nails on his arm. "But you shouldn't have risked your life like that Merton"  
  
"Right, Tommy. Okay, next time I'll let my best friend die." Merton said, sarcastically and then sighed. His eyes fell on Tommy's arm and the wounds, his brow furrowing. His hand suddenly was pressed against Tommy's forehead. Tommy felt himself leaning into the touch, and the feel of the cooler skin against his. His body reacting against his common sense at the simple touch and his stomach falling to his feet before it lurched back up.  
  
"Whoa, pretty off-balance aren't you." Merton grabbed Tommy's shoulders thinking Tommy's reaction was because he was woozy. "You are pretty hot too." Merton mumbled, not really talking to Tommy as he started to guide Tommy toward the nearest wall. Carefully, Merton helped Tommy lean against the wall and slide back down to the floor. "Are you really hurt?" Merton asked, his voice full of concern and fear.  
  
It made Tommy snap his head up to look at the still standing Merton, snapping himself out of what it had felt like to have Merton holding onto him. "No. Just a bit drained, but I'm fine now. Everything is healing up, see…." He held up his arm which was already less burned and cut up than had been a minute before. "Won't even need any Neosporin or a Band- Aid."  
  
Merton stared at his arm for a full minute before finally deciding Tommy was indeed healing as fast as he was supposed to be. Stepping closer he slid down the wall himself so their shoulders were touching and shook his head. "Sorry I trapped us in here."  
  
"How did you do that?" Tommy asked, not that he really cared, they'd left Lori a message she'd show up eventually and let them out.  
  
"Remember the sign on the door down here? 'Keep open will lock behind you.' Well when I came back with the potion I was bit distracted, I was afraid I was too late to rescue you. So well…"  
  
"What was that stuff anyway."  
  
"Oh a bit of this and that. Some eye of newt and the eggs of a Romanian dragon.…"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Gotcha."  
  
Tommy rolled his eyes and tried to get his heartbeat to regulate, but between almost dying, thinking Merton could be dead and how their shoulders being pressed together felt so – comforting? Tommy wasn't sure that was the word, but it was something like it anyway, but the whole point was he was finding it hard to relax, and impossible to de-wolf.  
  
"I thought it was funny."  
  
"Lame, Merton," Tommy said stretching out his legs and trying to count backward from one hundred.  
  
"Tommy, are you sure you are okay?"  
  
"I'm fine. Really, just I really thought I was a goner and worse I really thought you might be one too." He leaned his head back against the wall and took a breath and felt himself turn back to normal. "Finally,' he breathed out and looked over at Merton and saw the concern on his friend's face. "I'm fine, Merton."  
  
Merton nodded, "I was really worried I wouldn't get back in time. I mean he almost killed you before I left."  
  
"Well you did, that's what matters. But you shouldn't have had to put your life on the line like that… What the hell was wrong with Lori?"  
  
"I don't know. She just seems generally miffed lately. Girl thing?"  
  
"I guess." Tommy said.  
  
"Mostly at you, which is weird. Usually I am the one she gets more mad with."  
  
"I've been bugging her a lot lately about something."  
  
"What?"  
  
Tommy swallowed and took a breath, "The fact you told her that you were accepted to that Ivy League college and haven't mentioned it to me once."  
  
"What," Merton exclaimed his face flushing red and he looked away, "That… Damn her."  
  
"She didn't tell me. She just slipped up that she knew when I told her I saw the letter."  
  
"Then how the hell did you know? Becky?"  
  
"No. Becky, didn't tell me either. I saw it on your nightstand before you hid it the other day."  
  
"Oh." Merton said, turning back towards Tommy but not looking him in the eye. "I've been meaning to tell you about it, Tommy. It's just the timing…."  
  
"When did you tell, Lori."  
  
"Um, well she came by when the letter came and well Becky made me open it then and there. She wanted to be sure I'd be getting out of her hair."  
  
"Oh. So if Lori hadn't been there, you wouldn't have told her yet either?"  
  
"No. I mean I wanted to tell you first, Tommy." Merton let out a loud breath. "So this is why you have been acting a bit weird and shutting up whenever I walk into a room?"  
  
"Yeah. What were you and Lori shutting up about when I walked into the room?"  
  
"Her telling me to tell you and not understanding why I haven't."  
  
"Why?" Tommy asked, trying to sound nonchalant as possible about it. Half of him wishing he wasn't taking it personally Merton hadn't told him on his own, and wishing that he wasn't so upset that after finals he and Merton only had three months left together. Not that they really had anything but…. Tommy didn't like the feeling he got in his chest and the pit of his stomach when he thought about life in Pleasantville without Merton.  
  
"I don't know, Tommy. We have these last weeks of school and then the summer… I just wanted… If I didn't tell you, you wouldn't know and it wouldn't ruin…."  
  
"Yeah, okay I get it." Tommy said, with a smile realizing he'd overreacted in taking it personally Merton hadn't told him about his college acceptance. Merton didn't like the idea of time running out on their friendship either… that was good thing. Maybe it wasn't a Ireally/I good thing, but it was a good thing. "I guess I was overreacting and driving Lori crazy."  
  
"Must've been why she was on me so hard to tell you. Couldn't get her to understand the concept that it wasn't real until I told you…"  
  
"Guess it's real now." Tommy breathed out without meaning too and he wished he could swallow the sentence but it was too late now. "So, you will be going off to college end of the summer and away from," Tommy caught himself before he said 'me,' "Pleasantville."  
  
"I'll be home on holidays and stuff…"  
  
"Right, right."  
  
"It will work out, Tommy. I mean we will still be best friends."  
  
"Always." Tommy said, finding it hard to look at Merton, so he looked at his legs. His heart was pounding hard again in his ear. He thought about how he'd felt when he thought he was going to die; thinking about all the things that would go unsaid. It hadn't been his life that flashed before his eyes it had been all things he hadn't shared with Merton. All the feelings and the impulses he never acted on because he was so scared and unsure. It wasn't just uncertainty at what Merton's reactions would be, but of what all these feelings meant to him. He knew the feelings and fantasies weren't going to go away, they were how he felt. Sometimes he wished when he had to kick himself out of wild imaginations about his best friend that he had developed a crush on one of the guys on the football team and not his best friend. It be easier, he could test out the feelings and sure he'd get hit by the guy on the football team. But it wouldn't risk everything that was important in his life, it would risk him and Merton. He already had Merton. His loyalty and his friendship. They were the best of friends, what they had was amazing as it was. It was understandable, Merton was a great guy, which was why he had these feelings in the first place and some random guy from the football team.  
  
"Merton when I thought…" Tommy started to try to say something about everything he was thinking but he trailed off. He was completely lost and scared to death at what he was about to do… but something was really pushing him to come clean with Merton.  
  
"Tommy?"  
  
"I don't know, I am …. I wish you just knew what the hell I am thinking."  
  
Merton laughed, "Well if you give me some more clues, I might be able to extrapolate what is going on? Is this about almost being killed?"  
  
"No. Yes. It's more about you almost being killed and leaving."  
  
"Killed today and leaving in August?"  
  
"August. No way, are you leaving that soon?" Tommy felt like he had just been stabbed; his chest burned and he stared at Merton, horrified.  
  
"End of August is the end of the summer, Tommy." Merton said, looking at his friend and a small smile playing on his mouth that made him look away.  
  
"What?" Tommy asked hurt hitting him again that Merton was so happy he was leaving in August.  
  
"You really are going to miss me aren't you?" Merton asked, candidly looking at Tommy suddenly his blue eyes shining with the fact that he loved it but wasn't sure to believe it. "I think I just, I don't really believe that."  
  
"You're my best friend Merton."  
  
Merton nodded but bit his lip for a moment and then looked towards the center of the basement where he'd vaporized the demon. "This has been the best year of my life, Tommy. I mean I never had a friend and then there you were. I thought maybe you'd go away after you dealt with the whole wolf thing. But, you didn't and we got closer. It's been pretty cool having a friend like you." Merton fell silent and Tommy felt his breath lodge in his throat. "Anyway, it's just college…."  
  
Trying to breathe, Tommy's breath caught in his throat and he inched closer to Merton slinging an arm around him. It was something he did a lot, and he had been doing more and more lately but it was a way to touch Merton that no one would question. "Right. It's just college, it's not the end of the world…." He just wished he could believe that, and he jumped in his skin when Merton moved into his hold ever so slightly.  
  
"What is it that you wish I just knew?" Merton asked suddenly, looking over at Tommy and going back on topic.  
  
"Oh." Tommy felt his throat go dry, "It's, I, It's.." He stammered as he stared into Merton's blue eyes and then at his mouth and then back at his eyes. "It's that… it's…"  
  
"It's?" Merton asked intently looking at him, with an expression of interest and openness. "Need help, Tommy?"  
  
"Uh huh." Tommy whispered, he needed a lot of help. How did a guy tell another guy, especially his best friend that he wasn't just talking about missing him in a best friend kind of way. That it was more than that and God it was really hard to think being so close to Merton and trapped in those damn dark blue eyes.  
  
"Okay, um… give me a clue."  
  
"A clue?"  
  
"What's it about?"  
  
"Feelings."  
  
"Nearly dying stuff? Cause you know you have nearly died a lot this year. We all have and it's bound to catch up to all of us at some point." When he finished talking Merton stared at Tommy. "Is that it. It's logical to feel it catching up with you…"  
  
"No. No that's not it. I mean earlier I was really pissed off at you because…"  
  
"Why?"  
  
"You didn't get it Merton."  
  
"You mean that weird lecture about me not risking my life?"  
  
"Exactly, you don't get it Merton."  
  
"Get what?"  
  
"I don't want you to get hurt. I like how it works when it's the three of us. Lori watching your back when I can't. Me watching your back when she isn't…"  
  
"I wasn't aware that was how it worked. I thought I watched both your backs and provided odd distractions to throw the monsters off base."  
  
"Whatever. You shouldn't be rushing them. You nearly die every time you do. You were turned to stone, and if you hadn't had on your back pack today…" Tommy tightened his arm around Merton and closed his eyes.  
  
"Tommy, what do you want me to do? Be a creep and let you and Lori die even if I see a way to help you?"  
  
"Yes." Tommy shouted his whole body lifting up with the force of his feelings but then it hit him what he had just said. "Well no."  
  
Merton rolled his eyes, "Well then, yeah I guess I don't get it."  
  
"I don't know what I am trying to say. I mean I of course would rather die myself than let Lori die. But…" Tommy growled again in frustration. Lori was not Merton, how did he explain this to Merton. "I don't want you hurt. Lori at least knows how to fight. I really wish you would learn how to kick box."  
  
"We tried that remember, I kept kicking my own shins."  
  
"Well maybe we should try again…."  
  
"I don't think so," Merton interrupted him. "I do the research, make potions, think up plans. I have my uses."  
  
Tommy sighed, "I just don't want you hurt, Merton."  
  
"Well I feel the same way about you. Lori too."  
  
"Of course I don't want Lori hurt, I already said that but…" Tommy let out a growl and looked at Merton and saw the yellow tinge in his eyes reflected back in Merton's iris.  
  
Merton's eyes widened at the eye glow and he waited for a moment for Tommy to calm himself down. When he spoke his voice was calming and Tommy fell even more into the confusing trap of how Merton made him feel. "Can you draw it out in the dust? Make a diagram, maybe? Show it to me?"  
  
"Show it to you?"  
  
"Yeah you can't seem to make it make sense verbally so show me, Tommy. What is it that you want to tell me?"  
  
"Show you?" Tommy repeated again staring at Merton his heart echoing in his ears and his mind flying in a million directions. His imagination took off at the ways he could show Merton what he felt whenever they were together and every time they made eye contact in public. Suddenly, he was in front of Merton on the floor on his knees, his hands on Merton's shoulders gripping them in a massaging motion. Merton wanted him to demonstrate somehow what he was trying to share and he was gripped by an strong impulse. He didn't know when he first had the impulse to kiss a trail down Merton's neck – from just under his ear to where his neck met his shoulder -- but it had been there in his fantasies for as long as he could remember. Before he really knew what he was doing his lips were barely touching Merton's neck. Then they firmly pressed against the skin. Tommy realized that the heat of Merton's neck was warmer than his hands and it tasted better than he ever imagined. It was salty and he tasted like he smelled all 'Mertony' and perfect. Tommy smiled when Merton's neck seemed to shift in the perfect way that gave him easier access causing Tommy to press his lips more firmly against Merton's skin. A low growl rumbled out from deep in his throat at how right and amazing it all felt to finally be doing this but a force suddenly pushed him away. It was Merton's hands on his chest and he was staring into a very shocked expression on his best friends face.  
  
"Oh God," he exclaimed reality hitting him and the realization of what he had done. He jumped up and ran toward the darkest corner of the basement and giving a damn for the first time that they were trapped. That meant he couldn't wolf out and run far, far away to look for a hole in the ground to fall into to hide forever. What the hell had he just done? 'Show me,' did not mean come onto him. Why couldn't he have told Merton, that he had all these confusing feelings about them, about him… That he was attracted to him. That he was attracted to guys way more than to girls. That Merton was the first person to cause him sleepless nights and that he was scared of losing not only his best friend but someone that – he felt a lot for – when Merton left for college. No instead he had to stammer through all of it somehow he had ended up nibbling at Merton's neck like he was vampire and not a werewolf.  
  
Why? Because Merton had been trying to help him stumble through a conversation and asked if there was any way to show him what it was he wanted to say. He hadn't been thinking that much was obvious when somehow the suggestion made Tommy think go ahead and make a move on Merton. "Fuck," Tommy whispered and let his head hit the corner of the wall he'd run to, wishing he could walk through it so he could disappear.  
  
  
  
~~  
  
Supernatural. Neurological. Other.  
  
All the explanations Merton was coming up with for what had occurred between him and Tommy fell into those three categories. The problem was none of them felt right to Merton and that kept him pulling at his hair and biting at his lower lip. He wasn't even sure if it had happened? But it seemed it must have happened because he was where he was and Tommy was across the basement in the shadows, his back to him. Merton looked across the room and frowned at the sight of Tommy's back making his heart pound. He wanted to go over there and say something. He wanted to do anything to make things better for Tommy. He had never seen Tommy so upset and then there was the fact Tommy had placed himself in a corner as if he had been a bad little boy.  
  
Merton felt like his heart was breaking but he couldn't go over there because he didn't know what the hell to do. He had never been in a situation like this and as weird as his life had gotten once Tommy walked into it -- he had never felt so ill-prepared for anything. This wasn't like dealing with something bizarre and supernatural – this felt real. Real in a heart pounding so hard it hurt way. It was real in a way he felt suddenly small and stupid – as if he didn't know anything about life – real. Merton felt like he was sitting on a thin wire and if he made the wrong move things were going to change between him and Tommy forever. And he had been worried about going away to college, a little distance between friends suddenly seemed like nothing to him when he was staring at Tommy hiding from him in a shadowy corner. He had to go over there though at some point, so had to figure out what, why and how everything that had happened, had happened. Which brought him to his categories.  
  
Supernatural: Tommy was a werewolf, who had just had a fight with a demon with silver nails. Silver drained Werewolves; it weakened them and burned their skin. It did not however cause hallucinations or delusions in their minds in all the research Merton had done on lycanthropes. And Merton knew everything there was to know about Lycanthropy his interest in it pre-dated his friendship with Tommy. Merton smiled a bit as he once again thought that maybe that had been kismet; his interest in the supernatural and Tommy being bit by a werewolf and needing him. And Tommy needed him right now so he had to stay focused and figure this out.  
  
He was pretty sure it wasn't the silver. So had it been the potion he'd scattered over the demon and Tommy? It shouldn't have had any effect on Tommy, it only killed that certain type of demon but maybe Tommy inhaled too much or something? It could have caused the confusion Tommy was in and had caused him to come to Merton like he had? Right?  
  
Merton sighed, it just didn't work. So then there was the physiological possibilities. In the fight with the demon Tommy had gotten his head hit one too many times and something neurological was going on from the blows. Tommy had a bad concussion causing hallucinations that led to the neck kissing. Merton touched his neck where he could still feel Tommy's lips against his and licked his lips. God it felt so good but it just wasn't something Tommy would do so he had stopped him because Tommy was obviously in trauma. Right? No. That just didn't seem to make any sense either… Which brought Merton to the possibility that scared him to death on one level and gave him hope he was sure he had no right to feel. This was the Other Option, the scary other option that meant that no matter what, everything was changing between him and Tommy.  
  
The facts rolled through Merton's mind again. Tommy had been tongue tied trying to tell Merton something that seemed vitally important, so Merton had been trying to help his friend spit it out. Then he suggested Tommy showing him and before he knew it Tommy's lips were sucking at his neck. Okay not what he had expected, he'd been purposely not getting his hopes up during all of Tommy's weird behavior but it had been hard. The second the fight with the demon was over, Tommy had been acting and talking in ways that were so easy for Merton to spin into his wishes and fantasies. Tommy had admitted to being hurt he hadn't been told about Merton going to college and that he was afraid it would change their friendship. Merton swallowed that had made him feel so good and had been so hard not to read into. Everything after the demon fight, had been hard for Merton not to read into: Tommy's sudden fear of Merton's death, Tommy's hurt feelings, Tommy getting all tongue-tied and then Tommy's lips on Merton's neck.  
  
So the Other Option, seemed to be the most rational option in a way. Tommy had been upset about Merton risking his life, told Merton he was hurt he hadn't been told about his acceptance to college. Kept bring up how afraid he'd been Merton may have died, then he had gotten so tongue- tied over something. Then he had kissed his neck to show Merton what he was trying to say. Kissed, sucked, his lips against Merton's neck. That was a major mind-blowing action and now in retrospect Merton couldn't help but wonder if he had totally fucked up. Merton's brain kept screaming at him that in his efforts to not get caught up in the moment and keep his hopes down that he may have instead missed the doorway to his biggest wish. But Merton couldn't quite wrap his brain around that either because it didn't seem possible Tommy liked him. It was hard for him to believe that Tommy had been trying to say he liked Merton as more than just a friend. Tommy liked girls. He was always talking about them and pointing them out at the Factory. Of course, Merton was doing that too but that was just because it scared him shitless that if Tommy found out he was gay or worse had a crush on him that he would lose Tommy. So he acted a bit girl-crazy and over compensated really in trying to make it look real. Thinking about it now Merton realized that out of the two of them Tommy really got less action than he did. Merton bit his lip and tugged really hard at his hair again, pulling out a few hairs. Wincing at the pain Merton stood up his intention was to walk over to Tommy and start a conversation. To get Tommy out of the corner and looking at him but his legs locked in place. He was too scared and confused to move.  
  
It couldn't be the last option no matter how logical it seemed. Maybe it was one of the other possibilities… but they really made no sense. The Other Option did made sense though and it also made Merton sweat and shake. He gulped hard and clasped his hands behind his neck, he had to relax so he decided to count to ten. One. Two. Three. Four…. It wasn't working, his heart was pounding and he knew when he hit ten he wouldn't move. The warehouse was so damn quiet, he kept hoping for Lori's voice to start filling the air shouting for them. Or that Tommy would stop being uncharacteristically wimpy and come back to him. Something inside Merton told him that wasn't going to happen. He had to go over to Tommy because he had been the one to push Tommy away. Not that he had wanted too. He hadn't wanted to end the make out session at all, but he had really thought Tommy might be in some delusional state. It was the only way that what was happened could've happen. Right? Merton wasn't so sure anymore.  
  
Merton swallowed his mind reeling more and more. He was thinking in circles. Tommy meant it, Tommy couldn't have meant it. But God what if Tommy really had meant it and he had pushed him away. Of all the ironies, Tommy must have thought he was disgusted and didn't know how to tell him. Merton had been far from disgusted. He had been turned on, more turned on then he had knew was possible so quickly from a few kisses on his neck. But he had always been scared and that fear had translated into Tommy having a fit. In truth he was terrified that Tommy was having a delusional break down and would not only realize he was kissing a guy but that Merton really liked it. So not only would Tommy be repulsed by what he had done he would be repulsed by Merton. That had always been his biggest fear, that Tommy would find out the truth about him and his feelings for him and be revolted.  
  
But all the facts showed the opposite and it made Merton keep kicking himself. What if he had been all wrong. What if the fear he'd been carrying around since the day Tommy Dawkins first uttered his name had become a self-fulfilling prophecy and he just screwed up any chance he had with him. Only on the other hand maybe he was deluding himself because he couldn't find any other logical explanation to explain the chain of events. There sure didn't seem to be any other explanation other than Tommy had been trying to say he was attracted to Merton and had meant to kiss his neck. But that would be Merton's dream come true and that meant he could be blinding himself to the real explanation out of hope. Because he was wishing that all his fantasies and dreams could come true before he had to leave for college. He had been having dreams the past few weeks of coming clean with Tommy to find out Tommy shared his feelings. Then there had been lots of sex and he woke up -- He'd come close to telling Tommy a few times to see if the dreams were premonitions but he'd always chickened out. Tommy was his best friend, so what if he loved him more than just a friend should. He had Tommy in his life and him going away for college would a be a huge test on their friendship. So that meant he couldn't really be walking out of the closet just before he left. . No matter how hot and real his dreams were, he couldn't risk losing Tommy completely. Only right now, in this basement what had happened had not been a dream. And he had stopped it? He just wish he knew what was going on in Tommy's head? God, he was with Tommy, he wished he could read his friends mind. That was impossible though so he had to cross the room, break the silence and start a conversation.  
  
Easier thought than done, Merton realized as he stayed frozen in his spot looking across the room at Tommy. Tommy was still facing away from him and staring at the corner of the basement walls. It unsettled Merton, it wasn't like Tommy to run and not face what was happening. Tommy did things, he faced things – sometimes without thinking but he faced things. He hadn't even let being turned into a werewolf keep him down or change his life too much. He was still the most popular guy in the school because he was a great guy. The whole school even quietly accepted Tommy's friendship with Merton because they respected Tommy – they didn't get it and there were occasional rumors about why Tommy Dawkins hung out with Merton Dingle – but they still respected Tommy. Maybe it was because Tommy actually won football games for the school but Merton couldn't help thinking it had more to do with who Tommy was… And hiding in a corner wasn't Tommy, so whatever was going with his friend was big. Really big and Merton's heart started pounding because knowing that pointed once again that Tommy knew whose neck he was kissing. The thought made Merton's heart stop for a second but in that second his legs started to move. Before he could take another breath Merton found himself across the basement and facing Tommy's back.  
  
"This isn't like you, Tommy," he said, and he took in a deep breath that was as good a start as any he guessed.  
  
Tommy tensed and seemed to move even more into the corner but then his back straightened and he turned around. Merton felt all his internal organs fall to his feet at the look on Tommy's face. He'd never seen Tommy look so vulnerable in his life and the vulnerability looked mixed with guilt and a lot of confusion that tore at Merton's heart. Without thinking Merton stepped closer and touched Tommy's arm and stared at him waiting for Tommy to say or do something. He didn't know what to say so he just touched him hoping that would get Tommy to do or say something.  
  
Tommy's eyes looked at Merton's arm and then back at Merton and he shook his head, "Why aren't you hitting me?"  
  
"Hitting you?" Merton echoed confused. "Tommy, I am not a violent person."  
  
Tommy sighed, "Yeah but another guy comes onto you the usual response would be repulsion and an urge to hit him to knock sense into him. Wouldn't it?"  
  
Merton felt like time stopped right then and there. He was right, Tommy had meant it and Tommy did think he had been repulsed. But thinking it and hearing it to be true were two totally different things. What he was feeling was a mixture of pure glee and pure shock. "Wow," came out of his mouth as his only coherent thought and he found it impossible to hide the smile that surged up from his toes – so he didn't. He gripped Tommy's arm harder and just stood there smiling in complete speechless shock. Tommy liked him. No Tommy Iliked/I him.  
  
"What are you doing?"  
  
"Huh?" Merton said coming out of his trance of joy and looking at a still vulnerable and scared Tommy. It instantly sobered him a bit and he smiled again, "I'm happy."  
  
"You're happy? You are happy, I just made a fool out of myself?" Tommy sighed and hung his head down. "Merton you should hate me, I made a pass at you."  
  
"Tommy, look at me."  
  
Tommy shook his head and freed his arm from Merton's touch, "Merton, can we forget about this ever happening?"  
  
"No." Merton said too quickly and with anger, "No way, and this clueless thing you do is very irritating at this moment."  
  
Tommy looked up and stared at Merton, "You don't want to forget this happened?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Why?"  
  
Merton sighed, "Because I liked it, Tommy."  
  
"You did." Tommy's eyes widened and he stared at Merton, "But you the most girl crazy guy in the school."  
  
Merton sighed, "I tend to overdo things Tommy, exaggerate and be a bit dramatic."  
  
"Well yeah, I guess." Tommy said staring at Merton with a mixture of confusion and hope that had Merton fighting between the instinct to help Tommy through this and kiss him.  
  
"So I was afraid if you knew I was gay you'd stop wanting to be my friend so I acted like a horny-toad when it came to girls. It was an act, Tommy."  
  
Tommy's mouth started to curve up into a hesitant smile that made Merton smile even more and feel a surge of fear. He pushed the fear away, now was not the time to worry about everything he knew he was bound to obsess about. Now when Tommy was searching his eyes a sexy smile slowly lit up his features. Merton was ecstatic Tommy was finding answers he liked in his eyes and stepped even closer to his friend. He reached up and touched Tommy's shoulder giving it a slight squeeze; for encouragement or to relax him, Merton wasn't sure.  
  
"So you feel it too?" Tommy whispered his voice low and it cracked a bit showing he was still unsure.  
  
"I feel something," Merton responded letting out a sigh when Tommy hands suddenly grabbed him by his hips and pulled him even closer. They had to be only inches or less apart now and Merton's heart was pounding.  
  
"Damn it." Tommy growled as his eyes suddenly glowed and he wolfed quickly and definitely against his wishes. "Fuck."  
  
"Wow." Once again Merton was caught up in shocked glee, Tommy had just wolfed out because he touched his hips? "No way…" Merton whispered completely in awe that he was now staring at a werewolf and a pissed one at that.  
  
Tommy let go of him and walked away, "Not like this, I want to be me. Just me. No wolf. Damn it." He kicked the air and then punched it and let out a growl.  
  
"Okay, um well then come back over here."  
  
Tommy looked over at him, "But Merton… I… you… This is your fault."  
  
Merton felt his head bobbing up and down and he smiled, "Are you serious? Really? I mean I thought?" Merton bit his tongue and took in a deep breath. "Sorry, it's kind of hard to believe that this is all…"  
  
"Really happening?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
Tommy walked over to him and grabbed his shoulders, "It is happening though right Merton?"  
  
Merton nodded grabbed Tommy's waist and pushed him around so he was against the wall and it made Tommy growl and shake his head, "Merton, I told you I don't want to be all wolfed-out right now."  
  
"That's what I am working on helping you with," Merton said, a small chuckle mingled with happiness, shock and a good dose of fear flying out of his throat.  
  
Tommy stared at him, "Doesn't feel like it when you toss me against a wall."  
  
"I'll remember that for future reference."  
  
"There will be future…." Tommy blurted out and he let out his own hysterical chuckle and closed his eyes.  
  
Merton nodded even though Tommy couldn't see him and he reluctantly let go of Tommy and freed himself from Tommy's grip. "Sit," He ordered as he turned and slid down the wall next to Tommy.  
  
Tommy followed him to the ground and let his head fall into his paws. Merton sighed and lifted his hand to Tommy's hair to something he had wanted to do more than once on occasions like this when Tommy wanted more than anything not to be wolfed-out. He started caressing through his light brown hair and Tommy sighed out his name.  
  
"Shh," Merton whispered moving closer, "Let's just see if it works."  
  
"Hmm…" Tommy sighed out and leaned into the caresses, "I am thinking it won't."  
  
"Well try to relax into it."  
  
"I'm trying…" Tommy argued and then he breathed out, "Sorry. I am."  
  
Merton smiled studying Tommy's profile and concentrating on how soft and nice it felt to have his fingers lost in Tommy's hair. It felt natural and right, just like his impulses had always told him it would. Part of him wanted to scream about the fact he had denied himself for so long. Considering what Tommy was telling him and showing him it would have gone over well. Maybe, or maybe the timing had to be right or maybe he was dreaming. Merton took a breath and focused his eyes on Tommy's face and saw Tommy's real face staring back at him his eyes wide and glazed over. "You de-wolfed," Merton whispered surprised.  
  
"Yeah, you were right it worked."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
Tommy moved and took the hand that was in his hair and squeezed it and then looked at Merton, "Merton?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"What I was trying to say before…"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Was well this…" Tommy leaned forward and pressed his lips against Merton's and Merton felt nothing but sparks of hot heat and he lurched forward and returned the kiss. It was over quickly they both pulled away and Merton could tell by looking at Tommy that his friend felt the same way he did. Unsure, surprised, happy but wary. "Wow," Tommy whispered his hands going up to touch Merton's spikes.  
  
"I know," Merton exclaimed and he closed his eyes and stared at Tommy, "I guess I was pretty stupid acting so girl-crazy."  
  
"Yeah, well I was stupid too and now… three months…"  
  
"No." Merton shook his head adamantly and Tommy closed his mouth waiting for more. "Let's not go there now. I mean, yeah we'll have too go there… but let's not go there now." Merton could feel his heart pounding harder and harder and a small part of him wondered if this was a mistake to not talk more but he didn't want to think about what would happen when Lori opened the door. Not yet, there would be plenty of time – there had to be plenty of time – to freak out about what all this meant and how his going away to college would effect it.  
  
Tommy nodded and let out relieved smile, "Thank you, cause I would have ended up stammering and kissing your neck again anyway."  
  
Merton widened his eyes and tilted his head, "You can skip to the neck thing, I really didn't want to stop you anyway."  
  
"Now you tell me." Tommy said, right before he dived in and started kissing down the same trail he had kissed before frying Merton's brain. Merton reaction was stronger than before, something about knowing it was going to happen and knowing Tommy meant it made every sensation Tommy's mouth caused rock through him harder. Merton closed his eyes and shifted his neck for Tommy to get better access, his own hands landed in Tommy's hair and down his friends back searching for the hem of his shirt…. Wanting to feel his skin and when his hand landed on Tommy's lower back he was rewarded with a sharp gasp and Tommy leaning up and capturing his mouth with his.  
  
This kiss wasn't short or sweet at all and Merton vaguely wondered if he had died and this was the heaven he created for himself, but then one of them let out a very real moan that somehow reminded Merton it was real. Tommy was really kissing him and he was really kissing Tommy. They were exploring each other's bodies with their hands and his body temperature was rising to degrees Merton didn't know were possible. "Wow," he said completely breathless when they finally broke apart.  
  
"Tell me about it."  
  
"Wow," Merton repeated and he laughed fell back against the wall.  
  
Tommy chuckled and fell back next to him swinging his arm around Merton and pulling him as close as he could. Merton couldn't believe how easy it all felt to go from keeping everything inside to acting out on everything and he moved his leg and entwined it with Tommy's. Tommy response was to tighten his hold on him and whisper, "This is nice."  
  
"Very nice."  
  
Tommy sighed, "But Lori is on her way."  
  
"What?"  
  
"I can hear her, wolf hearing can suck sometimes."  
  
"Fuck."  
  
"I know." Tommy sighed, "I can believe I wasted so much time hiding in the corner and not just facing everything. I should have known you'd never hate me, didn't really expect you to like me hitting on you but still…"  
  
"I could never hate you Tommy," Merton sighed, "In fact I kind of…" Merton swallowed and stopped himself from telling Tommy he loved him. It was too soon for that. And who really knew what was going to happen when Lori finally found and opened the door.  
  
Tommy smiled and didn't push Merton to finish his sentence and moved forward, "No matter what, we don't turn back."  
  
"No matter what."  
  
"Guys are you in down here." Lori's voice sounded down the stairs.  
  
"Don't close the door!" They both yelled standing up.  
  
"I can read. Get up here, what happened."  
  
Tommy and Merton stood up, grabbing each others hands and looked into each others eyes and gave into the impulse to kiss.  
  
"Guys?" Lori yelled, "Are you coming up?"  
  
Merton smiled and let out a soft sigh as Tommy only intensified their kiss and agreed with him silently on letting Lori wait longer. He knew they'd have to go up the stairs and that not nothing was ever going to be the same again but they'd just agreed. No going back on what was happening and a part of him had hope they'd figure out everything else. He and Tommy always did figure out how to come out on top of things and they were together in this new aspect of their relationship. So they'd figure it all out.  
  
  
  
The End 


End file.
